‘You never know who a person will become, Saul became Paul. One who murdered because he thought, he was doing it for God.’ -S. Vincent Johnson
As he journeyed he came near Damascus, and suddenly a light shone around him from heaven. Then he fell to the ground, and heard a voice saying to him. “Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting Me? And he said, Who are You, Lord?” Then the Lord said, I am Jesus whom you are persecuting. It is hard for you to kick against the goads.” so he, trembling and astonished, “Lord, what do You want me to do?” Then the Lord said to him, “Arise and go into the city, and you will be told what you must do.”
I am not sure I would have this blog if I were to rewind my life back just a few years. Being twenty- three, my generation likes a microwave lifestyle. We want it quick and fast; money, school, and life we want it all at the touch of our fingers. Even though I always wanted to please God, I didn’t know how to live for Him, not because I wasn’t being taught. Like I said I go to a wonderful church with a wonderful example of a pastor but because I had not had the personal encounter or had not continued in a relationship with him to know what I was suppose to be doing. My Pastor calls that an ‘Amen saint.’; you agree with the Word but you apply it in areas you deem necessary. I surely did because I still partied with my friends, said what I wanted too, and did what I wanted to an extent. Somethings I just personally found classless and my deep morals wouldn’t let me. In 2012, I dreamed I was talking to someone and I was in the church house and they were basically accusing someone of somethings and instead of replying as God wanted me to. I cursed them out, right there in church. From that day the Lord told me I need to watch what I say. I received a word that I was a prophet two months after my son was born in 2009. The first time I recognized the voice of God and I was so excited and well someone said something to me and it knocked me down a few notches. They too said, you can’t be a prophet doing whatever you wanted. Looking back at both instances learning more I do know that I can’t do whatever I want. The closer I get to God the more I have to let Go of the life I once lived. Not because He was trying to strip me of fun and life but because He was trying to give me a life that He designed me for that I was made for. How I was living life, I was unlovable at best because I was living my life from every wound that had been given me. Even with my religious background, I had no relationship substance with the Creator. The cards that I was dealing to myself and others were certainly death. Still I cried out to God with so many cried out nights, so many drunken nights, so many partied so hard I couldn’t concentrate on my life nor my son’s like I was suppose too. I asked God to rescue me and He did, those cravings started to lessen and I may had a drink or two but it wasn’t full blown like it had once been. The more I started to learn how to give up my life and to gain His was becoming appealing.
Every moment every time I lapse, I always have to make a Faith choice, to trust God and continue even if I fall. Philippians 3:14 says it best, ‘I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.’ I try to always have two things in mind as I continue in this Faith and Love Walk. Am I pleasing God and am I loving my neighbor as myself? This keeps me up beat with the reading and meditating on the scriptures. I love to help people, I want people to know and understand the love of God. Once you experience the love of God it will surely change your life, it’s like having the blinders lifted and seeing everything as though it were the best thing. A few years ago I could never be as far as I am. I couldn’t be this positive. The man that I had called my grandfather died last January and it broke my heart completely. I was sick and cried more than I cried when my grandmother passed (his wife). He was a great pastor, and as quirky as I am he was too. We had the most interesting Bible based conversations and when I was 16 and pregnant he told me, never let anyone make you feel bad for what happens but keep going and grow on. A week later, I had an urgency in me that I needed to be ministering and teaching. God had told me earlier 2013 that I would be a teacher and preacher, I laughed because I thought I was the worst pick especially after He had already told me I was a prophet and I hadn’t even adjusted my life to that.
July 2014 I had another breakdown because I just knew I needed more than just skipping around trying to do the things of God. I wanted to do them more and I wanted to live it out. My son’s Nana called me and asked could he go to Texas with her for a few days. Usually I don’t agree because I usually don’t like him to travel without me but I said yes. I had just quit my job because I was lead too and I really did need a few quiet days. Those days I pressed because I wanted God’s plan for my life to be reality for me. I had a dream and it was really something I can’t put into total description but what I believe was an angel singing a song, that simply said, ‘ It’s your time, you are ready, there is something different about you.’ Then I saw myself putting on a thick grease and in my spirit I heard, ‘ Holiness’. Then I woke up and I didn’t understand it completely but I certainly woke up and wrote it down in my journal. I read it over and over again and the next day after church the Spirit told me to go to pray for my grandmother. I went immediately at first thinking I heard wrong, she was having horrible swelling and the doctors had been trying to get it down. I did go and pray for her and she was beyond thankful. That night I went to our prayer service and my pastor was calling people up so that they could pray for others. Then he told me to come up but I and a dear lady thought he was talking to her, so I sat down. He turned around and said ‘What are you doing come up here?” I was a nervous wreck. After we prayed over others, he anointed me and another young man to minister.
It’s 2015 and I take every word of God to heart and I stand on it because it is certainly the only way that I have gained a life that I have always wanted. I have always wanted to start a blog, be a writer and help other people to become better, to see the best in themselves and bring God to them in a way that would help them see the love, power and glory of the Father in heaven. So if walking in my purpose means dying every day to my own selfish desires, dig another six feet because I will surely do it. My cousin told me the day before my granddad’s funeral, “Miriam, you write the most empowering and positive Facebook statuses. If I have a bad day and don’t know what to do, I go to your page and see what you post. You always have a scripture or something uplifting to say and that helps me keep going.’ People watch you whether on social media, home, work, job, in public or in a private setting and your God given purpose is not for you to receive life only but others that you influence may receive life. So from now on Don’t DOWNPLAY Your God-given purpose. You are a city on a hill, the salt of the earth, you will be a world changer in Christ Jesus. Be a mover and shake up the world!
Genesis 12:2 I will make you a great nation; I will bless you And make your name great; And you shall be a blessing.
Matthew 5:13-16 You are the salt of the earth; but if the salt loses its flavor, how shall it be seasoned? It is then good for nothing but to be thrown out and trampled underfoot by men. You are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot e hidden. Nor do they light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a lamp-stand, and it gives light to all who are in the house. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven.